Existing In Crisis
by Zaira Angel
Summary: The Courier's struggling. She's seems to be self-destructing. Arcade wants to help, but Ruby blocks him at every turn. It seems there is more to her story then he though. Will she open up and accept help from her friends, or will she totally destroy herself? TW: language, sexual themes, implied rape(mentions of but not actual rape scenes), violence, drug and alcohol use.


Ruby shot up in her bed in a cold sweat. She looked around the room, her eyes adjusting to her familiar surroundings. Novac. Her room in Novac. She looked to her right to see Arcade sitting on the couch. "I thought I would have to wake you," He said calmly "Another nightmare?" He turned on the lamp. Generally she preferred New Vegas to Novac, then again who wouldn't? But she had grown tired of camping out in the wastes. She needed a bed, a fridge, food that wasn't made 200 years ago. She didn't say anything to Arcade. She simply pushed herself off her bed and to the fridge, pulling out a half empty bottle of scotch. "So," Arcade started "You're just going to drink." She kicked the refrigerator door closed and let out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah." She said simply. "Yeah what?" Arcade was fishing. They'd been though this a few times in their travels. She'd wake up, or he would wake her. He'd ask. She'd dodge. Like a page out of Arcade's own handbook. "Yeah," she took a swig from the bottle "I had a nightmare? Happy?" She offered him the bottle. "I'm not happy you're having nightmares if that's what you mean," He shook his head "I don't drink at three AM." She shrugged putting the bottle to her lips again. Arcade shook his head looking down. She'd finish off the bottle tonight. Maybe even open another one. He'd seen enough addiction to know that judgment wouldn't help. They'd know each other for months now. When it became clear that Ruby held the same ideals as he did, they became fast friends. Talking for hours at the Fort when she came by to drop off supplies, and Julie always had a few stimpaks to sell. It was a bit of a surprise when Ruby asked him if he'd travel with her. And even more shocking when Arcade agreed. Ruby had told a few stories about her travels. Most people out here had trauma. Especially drifters like Ruby. And most people used chems to self-medicate. There was barely enough medical care available to people with physical injuries. Psychological care was a luxury. What bothered Arcade is the she could get help. She had The Followers behind her, hell Arcade could offer support. She even had medical training, she knew exactly what she was doing to herself. It seemed she just didn't care. She sat back down on the bed, placing the bottle on the nightstand and started fiddling with her Pip-boy. "You might wanna go easy on the bottle," He said sarcastically "We've got traveling to do tomorrow." She rolled her eyes. As far as traveling companions go Arcade was great. He was a damn good shot and could keep up with her. They had long conversations about everything. And as much as she loved The Followers, they tended to be so straight and narrow. But Ruby never understood the big deal of tossing back a few drinks to take the edge off. Besides, she wasn't going back to sleep tonight anyway.

Arcade woke up to a empty room, guns taken apart and laid out carefully on the bed, along with an empty bottle on the nightstand. _Well, that's a good sign._ Arcade said to himself grimly. Up all night drinking and maintaining her weapons. He knew some of her history. The courier found shot in the head that miraculously lived. Other then that he didn't know that much about her. She never talked much about her past or her travels other then mentioning Cass, a woman she traveled with for a while. Apparently she had a knack for making moonshine. Ruby even kept a few bottles of it around. The stuff was like gasoline. She said she only drank it when she need to "pass the fuck out", her way of saying she needed real rest. Not the few hours she usually got. It seemed to work, for what it was worth. When she couldn't sleep, this is what she did. Maintaining her weapons and fiddling with her damn Pip-boy. She hoarded spare parts and ammunition. His guess was it made her feel safe having all those guns around.

The sun was shining hazily in the early morning sky. Of course staying in that room you'd never know the sun had risen at all with that think layer of dirt coating the window. Meaning even early morning light was harsh on Arcades eyes. The sun would only become more unforgiving, so he made a point to be grateful for small miracles. He descended the stairs looking around the small town of Novac. He'd been here before, of course, but only once without The Courier. Like most settlements it was full of mostly decent people just trying to live. It wasn't much to look at. Not like the bright lights of Freeside or New Vegas, and quiet. The silence still got to Arcade sometimes. In Freeside The Kings always played music which provided a faint background noise almost everywhere in the city, and in the Fort there was always the low rumble of chattering. But out here, it was deathly quiet. Ruby had taken to keeping her radio on while traveling with Arcade. He didn't know if it was because of him or if she just really like Mr. New Vegas. He scanned the area for Ruby. Stepping out from the gates of the inn and looking to the workbench where Ruby often was, creating ammo, repurposing it. Sometimes to use, sometimes to sell. But she wasn't there, she was with the town "Doctor", if one could call her that. She was more like a glorified drug dealer with a first aid kit. He hoped Ruby was just buying Stimpaks. But he wasn't stupid. As Ruby turned to walk back to the inn, Arcade quickly made his way back to the stairs he had just climbed down from. He didn't want to lecture her this early. And besides he didn't have any actual evidence that she was using.

"Breakfast!" She proclaimed tossing an mutfruit at Arcade. Arcade not prepared, grasped at it, barely managing to catch it. He muttered a sarcastic thank you. She gave him a smile and a pat on the shoulder as she made her way back to her room to gather up her supplies. "Did you sleep at all last night?" He asked genuine concern on his face. "A bit," she shrugged "I don't need much." That was lie, Arcade knew. Dark circles and lines etched under her eyes proved it. "Anyway," She drew out the word, still amused by her campion's clumsiness, as she began packing up her weapons and fresh supplies she had just gotten "Got word of a job, we're heading to the Mojave Outpost." Arcade simply nodded. It was no use asking where she heard this. She's seemed to have feelers out everywhere, always looking for something, but he wasn't sure what. But he hoped whatever it was she found it before she ended up killing herself.


End file.
